Hi,
Ever get writers block? Seems I have had that now for almost a year. I can't seem to come up with anything that is worth while to write about. Even work on my novel has come to a complete stand still. Maybe I just need to find a new muse. I can't seem to get out of this funk I've been in since last year when I was found out. I've had to take extra precautions to not rock the boat at home or at work. My spouse is now in a new job for a big corporation and seems to be happier there. We only have four more months until we are debut free. What a relief that will be since that has been my total focus for a while.
The most recent events in my life were that our campus had Nancy Strapko, a gender therapist, come in and do a lecture. It was refreshing to have a live person discuss and confirm all the things that I have been learning about transgender sum from the internet. The web is a wonderful tool and has opened up a plethora of information that was once closed to us. But there is nothing like having the live human interaction of a real time group of people in one room. Out of that lecture I also found that there are a number of FtM's in our student population and at least on MtF who has just declared a transition. At last someone in our small town who I can support and befriend.
The training session also afforded an opportunity to once again broach the subject with some family members. The results were not promising though. My spouse still is of the opinion that transition may be acceptable for some people; "but don’t you dare even consider telling me you want to do this." Who has made that quite clear over the course of the last year? I also spoke with my daughter-in-law who has a Masters in social work, and oversees foster care programs. She understands the issues on a surface level, but cannot reconcile it as being an acceptable course of action, especially for a follower of Jesus. The last family members I spoke with about the T issues and training were my parents. They literately laughed at me for having gone through it. For those of you who read my bio blogs back on Yahoo, you might recall that they once caught me wearing my mother’s lingerie when I was very young and had a good laugh at my expense. They're response made me feel just like I did all those years ago. Still I persisted in trying to discuss the subject in a mature fashion with them. It was then that they said something that just totally shocked me. They said that the students that are transitioning ought to have a sign hung around their neck declaring what they really were, just like what Hitler did to the transsexuals. Of course the Nazis had Trans folk put to death. Even my spouse was shocked by their response. My family is of German decent, so maybe I shouldn't be so surprised. I ended my conversation politely after that without any resolution, or disclosure of my own desire to transition. The scary thing is that they wear side arms around the house and concealed weapons where they are out and about.
So how can I tie all this together into a hug? I guess maybe I can just apologize for the attitudes of my family. I'm sorry for the narrow minded and bigoted assaults that come out of fear and ignorance. That is the way I use to treat others too. Funny thing is they once knew one of my friends who was a lovely transsexual lady and thought the world of her. Go figure. It is no longer appropriate to value and identify a person based upon XY chromosomes only. Demand that people get to know you intellectually before you accept their feedback of who you are.
Hugs
Roanne.
